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Visionary
Posts: 2027
Brighton, TN | I finally know how long a set of tires will last! Yes this is a carryover from the other post about the 16mm tool.
So, In my case a set of tires will last about 7000 miles. Then you get a screw in the front one and cuts and a nail in the rear. All of which force a new installation of shiny black tires.
I know you want to hear the story, (Swig, Swig some H20, really need to go refill my DP). So there I was tied to the bed, she come in with a can of motor oil, a saddle and a bullwhip. She (interrupt this story - OOOPS wrong story and site.)
So, there I was driving home from work and I managed to roll up behind a woman on a 883 HD. I pulled in behind her and cruisin' right along. She had some ape hangers around shoulder height and would continually remove the left hand to either get a smoke or to relax the arm and hand. It didn't look comfortable. After a little bit, she started getting more agressive weaving in and out of traffic and I let her go on. I am more laid back, don't need to risk injury on my commute, put me on a track maybe a different story. Little bit later, I pass her and then she pulls in behind me. Maybe she felt threatened, who knows. Then she spoke and then it didn't matter, her grasp of the English language eluded her.
Anyway, I let her go in front after our little chit chat and I was following her. We came up on a semi in the slow lane. The car in the fast lane was about 20 - 30 feet behind the semi. She rolls up behind the semi, scoootches over and roars past. I give it about 20 seconds and then decide to do the same thing. Somehow it didn't pan out for me like it did her.
So, there I was, I radio the tower all clear, Tower responds, "All Clear!" I accelerate and lean to the left and drop into the fast lane. No sooner had I done this and gotten about half way past this "Rubber Duck" (Old country song about truckers), that this SOB, *&^&$#F%^&^*, *^%$%%$&(((((<, &^%$^*&*&)*&^%, ^&%&%^, *&^%^%^, *^^%$, *^&%%, started coming over! So, using some of the Queen's English, I eased over and heavy in the throttle, no shoulder of course, just a white line and then a large patch of median dirt. I tried to ride that white line for all it was worth, somehow I ran out of white line because it turned into dirt and grass. I can confirm it does pretty decent as a dirt bike at 70mph. That Rubber Duck kept coming and I started looking for more pavement. Couldn't find any. I thought about shutting it down and braking hard to get totally out of his way but then it occurred to me there was a car close behind and that was all I needed to avoid the truck and get plowed by the car behind me.
So, there I was, sucking up grass and dirt like it was pavement. Still heavy in the throttle just trying to get around, I know probably should have gotten a hold of some brake rotors and shut it down but somehow that didn't seem like a logical path, I wanted AWAY. WAIT, what's that you ask, all that white, big flat sheets of #$%#$, !@#@#$, on the side of the road in my path, in the MEDIAN, piled three of four or more high, spanning about 30 feet. Looks like F**&& sheet rock, CRAP, I already got a load in my drawers and I don't know that PalmBeachRiders protective undergarments would have held up. What am I going to do with this next load?
So, there I was, load in my pants, more crap to avoid and one helluva bike so far and another load on its way. What to do, Grip those heated grips, like it was a twentysomething hottie, put a lot of pressure on those Jinormous floorboards and come out of the seat a little and listen to the holy crap of noise and commotion begin and end in a matter of a second. By the time, I get over that hump and finish my load in my pants, I ease back on the road, WELL past all traffic, I probably had them hitting their brakes thinking they were going to get to help pick up the pieces, like it was the space shuttle. I was already writing out my will on my FREE hand just in case.
Now, that I am past all of that, just need to find a place to unload the Wranglers, they are feeling quite a bit heavy. Also, looking for the available SO, got a little bit of TENSION to unload. Of course, the other thought that goes through my head, I don't want to be the first and the third Vision in for repair. That wouldn't be good.
Amazingly enough, I made it through all of that, the next morning go out and find my front tire is flat, big ol' screw sticking through it. Call up the dealer tells me he can get one by Friday, I complain a little says he'll call me back see if he can find one. Calls right back, from Polaris tire was going to be $208, from local wholesaler $178, so I save a few bucks. Take it down there, they do the recall and then start on the front tire. As they are getting their stuff together I look at the rear tire. Gee, what could that be but a two inch long finishing nail. Pull it out and "SSSSSSS" is all I hear. Couple of complimentary gashes in the tire, I just start laughing.
You see, there I was, had a Doctor's appt to go to in 30 minutes and I got two flat tires, and a bike on the lift in the service bay. I talk to Main Dude (didn't know if he wants me to use his name or not), and he arranges for me to take their Demo Vision. I decline and ask if I could ride one of the others, he recommends the Vegas, I say sure I'll give it a go. Man, that is definitely two different bikes.
Now, I get to Dr's office and get a call from dealer and he tells me the rear tire is leaking air out of the slashes. Gotta replace it. More hysterical laughter. I think the rear tire was around $218. Then labor was $35 for the front and $55 for the rear. I don't even really hear or listen to him. He said leaking I said replace it and Thanks.
Finish with Doctor, swing a leg back on the Vegas. Don't know how guys ride at least without a windshield. OUCH! Bike has Stage one Kit and is good and Rappy Loud, kinda fun. Anyway, get back and I find one of the mechanics, working on my bike, meet me on the showroom floor and he reaches under the counter to get a Yellow Pages book. I jokingly stated, "That don't look good, I hope your looking for food!" Nope, no 16mm tool to take front tire off, and unable to locate one. More hysterical laughter, you just can't write stuff this good. They mod a 17mm and get the tire off. I ride home, not quite sure where I want to go!
So, in summary, I would have sworn I had cleaned off the underside of my bike with what had just happened, lower plastic destroyed, oil filter gone, kick stand gone, belt guards sheared off. Suprisingly enough, no damage that I can tell yet, and I've looked, but may have overlooked something, the shock and the smell still hasn't worn off.
The bike was absolutely amazing. When I hit the median, it didn't start wiggling and worming around, it just stayed where I put it at 70mph. Hit all that crap in the median and still kept going straight and then eased right back on the road. Simply amazing!!!!! Really, the only damage I see is that the hand grips now have custom finger indentations on them, and the seat may need to be reupholstered. Other than that, couldn't be more happy.
Buddy of mine asked if I was looking for a place to lay it down. I said HECK NO! If I ain't about to hit something that I can't avoid, I'm using the laws of physics to keep me upright and going. I must have done the right calculations because that wild beast and I are still in one piece minus a set of used tires.
Whew, got to go wash again smell getting a little strong again, how long does it take for that smell to go away? | |
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Visionary
Posts: 2027
Brighton, TN | Any of you young / old whipper snappers got any of those tissues still laying around from when ya'll were waiting on your Vision, I think I may have to ask you to send some, still got a little cleaning to do. | |
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Tourer
Posts: 496
Scottsdale AZ | As I have said before - "this guy is different" - an accident waiting to happen. I sort of feel sorry for him, he gets in all these "situations", the last one was "wife through his Vision into the wall". Any of you others in Tenn. (Song Fan) please stay away from him especially on the road.
I am wondering if he might have a mental condition of some kind? I have alerted the Tenn Troopers to "keep an eye out" as he leaves his ranch each morning, yes, a chkin ranch. The Vision stickers were completed and in the mail (thanks again Song Fan) a month ago and the patches this yoyo has promised are still in the "workin on it" phase.
If someone could have caught this on Video it would be on UTube, America's funniest videos, and in MAD magazine to name a few.
Poot - I laughed till I cried on this one. It's only funny because you are OK! WTF its BFL. Clean er up- get 'r done! | |
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Tourer
Posts: 496
Scottsdale AZ | BTW Poop- Nice report - Glad ur OK | |
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Iron Butt
Posts: 904
29 Palms California | Poot,,,your amazing! I dream of having such fun! DesertJim is off his nut! I would ride next to you any day. Anyone can ride down the road with out issue. It takes a man to get into the bullcrap you get into. Dude, you've become my "I get into some crazy situations" hero! | |
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Iron Butt
Posts: 904
29 Palms California | tell me you had VAN HALEN blaring from the speakers! | |
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Cruiser
Posts: 82
Northwest of you | Definately an encounter I would rather hear about than experience. I do some road racing on my xbox, which is a much cheaper and less hazardous way to get some "crash" thills. Now, I hate to mention this, cause I know I'm going to get "killed" for it, but, here it is anyway. Last year I picked up a roofing nail in the rear tire of my Jackpot, which only had 1000 miles on it. I asked guys on the VMC if they had had any succees with sealing fluids or plugs and got some suggestions, but, overwhelmingly, the suggestion was to change the tire. Well I would look at all that tread and I just couldn't stand the thought of "wasteing" that tire without trying something first. At NAPA they have a radial "plug" kit for about $7. I got it, plugged it and filled the tire with nitrogen. I now have 5000 miles on the tire (with 5000 more to go, I think) and haven't lost 1 pound of air. Your tires may have been too damaged and you might not have done it anyway, but, it worked for me. As to the 16mm allan, when I don't have the size I need, I use a "bolt" that has that size head, tighten down a couple of nuts on it and presto, it's an allan wrench. Thanks for the story, I felt almost like I was there............... | |
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Visionary
Posts: 3204
Memphis | DesertJim, I see your logic but it's actually backwards. I'd ride with Po anytime. We could ride through a lighting storm and guess who's gonna get hit by it? Plus, no matter how whacked out or loony I get, I'd always be the "normal" one. Glad you're ok Po. I'll hear all about it at the shop next week. 9,000 mile check-up due.
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Iron Butt
Posts: 904
29 Palms California | Now that's funny! Very true! Nothing on Chickenpoot, but I seem normal compair to his fiascos. | |
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Visionary
Posts: 2027
Brighton, TN | Yeah, I hear Nowor218 - I asked about patch and plug. They said they wouldn't do it on a front tire. They thought about it on the rear, but one hole and three different slashes, I said just replace it. I didn't really think the front would need to be replaced, I have never had a plug and patch come out or blow out of a good quality tire. With the Amount of crap I rode over, who knows. I thought better safe than sorry at least this go around. Had I just got a nail or screw without the extra excitement, I might have said Okay to the plug n patch.
SandintheCrevicesJim - I must not be up on my anacronyms, I got the WTF, don't know the BFL. As for your patch, it's in the mail along with your check. Maybe I just send you demo's and you call it when its good enough. Maybe I'm taking the whole thing a little to detailed. Little did I know, you have to adjust for direction of thread, density of thread per inch, what type of stabilizer to put it on, etc. I don't even have calluses on my hands from riding.
Buckeye- Is there any other kind of music. I don't remember the type of music but it was either Def Leppard or Firehouse. Just got a new MP3 player and loaded it up with some Big Hair Band. Rock on, Flying index and pinky rockin' out. Good to know I've made it to the top of your list. | |
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Visionary
Posts: 8144
New Bohemia, VA | SongFan - 2008-04-24 2:16 PM DesertJim, I see your logic but it's actually backwards. I'd ride with Po anytime. We could ride through a lighting storm and guess who's gonna get hit by it? Plus, no matter how whacked out or loony I get, I'd always be the "normal" one. Glad you're ok Po. I'll hear all about it at the shop next week. 9,000 mile check-up due.
SongFan, you are true friend and Poot best be glad he has a friend like you to watch his back.  | |
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Visionary
Posts: 2027
Brighton, TN | Who needs enemies! Feelin' the love all around. Your probably right songfan, I'm doomed, don't know how I made it this far. I think I need one of my buddies to take me home, not allowed to ride and drive, anymore. Wait a minute, that sounds like I have to sit on the Beyatch seat, don't know that I'm in touch with enough estrogen for you guys.
More than likely, there will be talk at the shop. I was in back giving maintenance Dude a little grief for not being quicker, especially once I found out about my Back tire. He just looked at me and asked me just how many things I wanted him to do in a 20 minute service call. I told him if he could put in about an hour and a half worth of jobs in that 20 minute time frame, it would be greatly appreciated. Then of course, I got the complimentary, well for the loaner vehicle, we'll have to charge by the mile, then to fabricate the 16mm, hidden surcharge, along with a pack of smokes, just to make sure everything has gone according to plan. When it looked like he was done with the tires, he takes it down the road and I get the other comment about, "It takes about 200 miles to get the rubber broke in and the shine off the tire. He'll be back in the morning." I love those guys. | |
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Visionary
Posts: 3204
Memphis | Po, That story gets funnier every time I re-read it. I literally have tears streaming down my face. It is so filled with irony. I love the part where you clear the truck, only to have 30 feet of stacked sheet rock ahead. I can hear you from here: "What the...?...sheeeeet rock!!". Thinking of PBR's armored undies. Telling the boys at the shop you have to get to the Doctor's office, pronto. I can just imagine what they were thinking: "I wonder what kind of doctor he's going to see." Hysterical. You have a wonderful grasp of the Queen's English by the way.
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Cruiser
Posts: 257
Under the Rule of Jedi - Masshole | Famous last words...
"Hey... hold my beer and watch this sheet!"
It could have been worse! But glad everything came out ok in the end! | |
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Visionary
Posts: 8144
New Bohemia, VA | Po, Sorry, I jumped in without giving you well wishes and glad that you're okay. The Vision may be a fantastic machine, but it still takes the skill of the rider and nerves of steel to do what you did and come out with little more than 2 busted tires and the need to buy new clothes. I'm marking memphis on my route to texas, or return just to catch a ride with you and the song man in October. | |
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Visionary
Posts: 2027
Brighton, TN | I was really needing to see the Proctologist (some of you know him better than I), I was in dire need of skivvy removal. Once I was done filling the wranglers and then see a pile of sheetrock, I heard this butt sucking sound of pucker factor. Sucked right up like wedgy gone bad!
Glad to see I could use the Queen's English to get the laughter going! Who'd a thunk sheet rock and PBR's armored undies would meet in the same story.
Oh, I failed to tell this part, but when Tall B, took the bike around he stuck my helmet in the trunk. They put it on the lift, and since he wasn't done and I was going to use one of the demo bikes, I had to climb up to the bike and get the helmet out. Well, as you know, luck not going my way, as I am climbing down, I hear this RRRIIIIIPPPPPPPPP!!!! Yep, you guessed it, split them jeans right in the crotch. Little airy on the way to the doctor and back. Luck, what's that!
I'm surprised the boys on both coasts couldn't hear "What the......, Sheetrock!" | |
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Cruiser
Posts: 74
Puyallup, Washington | Luck, what's that! I'm surprised the boys on both coasts couldn't hear "What the......, Sheetrock!" I wondered what that screeching noise was. Glad you're okay but thanks for sharing so discriptively, because, that was funny right there, I don't care who you are. I look forward to the next calamity to befall the tiny chicken. Wayne | |
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Iron Butt
Posts: 619
Southeast Iowa | Pollolittle - First of all I'm glad to hear you navigated the sheetrock pile and walked away with nothing but a story you'll never forget. Too bad about the tires and the shorts, but they make more of them every day and they are much cheaper than a stay in the hospitol. Glad to still have you among us! | |
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Iron Butt
Posts: 904
29 Palms California | OMG! Your of the hook! Thats it, I'm getting coffee.... | |
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Iron Butt
Posts: 721
| Pollolittle, as stated by other here, I'm glad to hear that you are ok and have survived your ordeal unscathed.
For everyone else, listen up:
The Vision uses the exact SAME tire sizes and type (radial) that the Honda GL1800 Goldwing does. This means that if you do not like the handling or wear characteristics of the stock Dunlop E3s, then you can try other tires made by Bridgestone (Excedra), Avon (Venom), or Metzler (Marathon). The best place to get tires on the internet that I have found and used is www.directlineparts.com They have a large selection for all the major metric manufacturers and even a Victory store although they have yet to add specific Vision accessories. If you buy a set of tires they have FREE shipping, so all you have to do is take your wheels off, take them to a dealer and have the tires installed and balanced. Doing this I have been able to put tires on my old '03 GL1800 Goldwing for under $400, and I have been running the Dunlop E3s since they came out (Honda supplies the Goldwing with Dunlop D250s which are POS). | |
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Visionary
Posts: 2027
Brighton, TN | Well Gents, I see I have well wishers all around me, feel the love. Who wants to ride, anyone, anyone? I know Songfan, simmerdown, you just want to be there the next time something happens to me and be the first one to tell it and laugh about it. No doubt, it will be none the less entertaining. I think, I saw on another post about "PriceLess". This has to be good entertainment, if I say so myself. I go back and re-read as an out of body read, man I sure am glad that didn't happen to me, OOOWWWEEEEE!, then, it occurs to me, it WAS ME! Dang, how did I ever make it?
Member No. 1 - I didn't even have a chance to "Here hold my beer and watch this!", wasn't even nobody around. I would have like to asked the folks following their expression or description of what happened.
Varyder - Your more than welcome to come and swing a leg and test that bike on the dirt track, there is one near where I live. I just hope my bike and I are still in one piece, time you get here.
Oh yeah, I was cleaning up after I got my new shiny tires, just finished spraying some "Stink Be Gone" and I am cleaning under the bike near the front belly pan after the front tire and what does my rag pull out, you ask? I am pulling out grass and mud and nice little specs of what could be no more than @#$#$%#%, #$#%#%, Sheetrock! Does the memory never fade? I tried to block it out, but they keep wanting to send me back to the psychiatrist. I have proof I went off road and didn't take pics, what was I thinking! | |
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Iron Butt
Posts: 904
29 Palms California | The only thing left to do, Buy one piece of sheet rock, and a case of long necks. Stand the sheet rock up in the back yard, paint a bullseye in the middle, and start pounding beers. Every empty beer, at 6 paces, chuck as hard as you can at the bullseye (Allow for a 50 yard danger zone) After 12 beers, use your other arm, and continue chucking until your out of beers. If the sheet rock is still standing after 24 attemps, put on your helmet, get in a football stance, and TACKLE THE FRICKEN ROCK ! If you miss the tackle, it's ok, you've had a few beers, reload, back to the line of scrimage for second down, and attack! Let the people in your immediate surrounding know of your attempts to kill the sheet rock hex. Have them stand by for support, but warn them they might get tackled if they cross the 50 yard buffer zone. If this doesn't work, ask your wife to put your Vision into the garage. Odds are, she will do it safely this time, and the hex is removed. Just trying to help a brother. | |
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Visionary
Posts: 2027
Brighton, TN | Is this from experience or just because you know how to get rid of the hexed voodoo curse of the biker. Oh, and thanks for bringing up the other memory maker of a wife, a wall, and a bike. Howz' that sound for a country song or 80's rock ballad.
What if I were to just jump a pile of sheetrock in the opposite direction from the first time, would that cure it or would it be doubling up on the curse? I only ask, because, if anyone would know it would be BuckN8kd.
I've been wondering, how come Buckeye got the cuul nickname BuckNaKED, whilst I wind up with POO, POOT, ChickenPoot, POOT! I was doomed from the start with names like this, I now see the light. I now must go into the TeePee of wisdom, take a toke on the wisdom pipe, and see what the Great Eagle in the sky is telling me. | |
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Visionary
Posts: 2027
Brighton, TN | I can't believe this made it off the front page unless everyone has read it. I was at the dealer the other day and one of the chaps come rolling out the office area with a touch of laughter, telling me he just read this story. Does no one else have situations like me or is it just me? I'm not feeling so lucky anymore. Especially the way SongFan puts it. | |
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Tourer
Posts: 340
Regina Saskatchewan Canada | I think you are the only one that gets himself into that many situations. Way more fun than I care to be in! | |
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Tourer
Posts: 482
Beer Collins, Colorado (there is no fort) | As Elwood Blues said: Our Lady of Blessed Acceleration, don't fail me now. | |
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Puddle Jumper
Posts: 17
| For those interested, you can use a 5/8" allen wrench in place of the 16 mm. | |
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Visionary
Posts: 8144
New Bohemia, VA | xcrider - 2012-09-25 12:38 PM For those interested, you can use a 5/8" allen wrench in place of the 16 mm. Dude, right after ready the story I was thinking about what standard size could be used in place of a 16 mm allen wrench? You must be psycho... | |
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Replacement Tires at 7000